The birth of a new viral lexicon

All of this inevitably got me thinking about other words that, quite frankly, we should all be trying to create as a result of this crisis – or corisis

By now we are accustomed to hearing new words and phrases hitherto unheard of even a short while before. Of course the youth have almost an entire language to themselves. (This is quite a painful admission as I consider myself to be youthful still).

But in the age of Brexit, we as a species have begun to tinker with the English language in ever more ingenius ways. At present, there are 171,476 words in the Oxford Enlgish dictionary. There are many more unofficial ones in circulation, should you be streetwise enough to be using them. 

In 2019 there were 650 new words added to that number including whatevs, chillax, Jedi (which I think is cool and I’m surprsied it took this long) and sumfin (which is think is kind of mental).

Flashforward to now and we are in the midst of a global pandemic. It is bad and is only going to get worse so I wanted to focus on something positive. To that end, the fact that ‘covidiot‘ is now trending on twitter has brought a refreshing twist on humanity’s inherent stupidity. 

The word refers to those special individuals who rush out to panic buy toilet roll and pasta or those who think social distancing just isn’t for them. 

It’s not the only new word I’ve heard. Caremongering, the act of caring for those most vulnerable and encouraging others to do so, seems to be taking hold across the pond. It seems to have emerged from Canada which makes sense because – well, Canada. 

Presenteesim is the word for NHS workers who will lean towards going to work even if they are unwell which, in the current situation is not good. Under normal circumstances, I too have experienced this phenomenon, having crawled into work more than once feeling like the inside of John Mccririck’s underpants, only to be met by a smiling patient telling me they have had a cough for a few days. 

One of my favourites is the word for the cohort of babies born as a result of everyone being cooped up in isolation over the next few months. Coronials.

All of this inevitably got me thinking about other words that, quite frankly, we should all be trying to create as a result of this crisis – or corisis. Here are some of the best ones so far…

Quaranteens – The teenagers who are now home for the forseeable future since the schools closed, for which their parents are – I’m sure – ecstatic. 

Coronference call – As more and more of us begin to work from home, these are the ideal way to observe the social distancing measures while maintaining business efficiency. 

Whatsapp Thumb –  With friendship groups torn apart by the isolation, Whatsapp groups have gone wild. The chat within previously dormant groups has been going through the roof. Make sure you take precautions and limit your use lest you experience this painful condition. 

Covexit – The much sought after and mythical end to this epidemic. Who knows when we can reach it?

Recovid – My personal favourite here. With many people having already recovid from the disease, here’s hoping that many more will do the same. 

So there you have it. I’m sure there are plenty more of these so your suggestions are most welcome. Perhaps, by the time the next pandemic comes around (my money is on peronivirus) we may have a completely new set of vocabularly at the ready. 

WJ